how many nights?

How many nights before I can fall asleep without anxious memories of our experiences at the airport?  My heart rate speeds up and I start to sweat at the mere mention of the word "airplane."  Wow.  What a trip.  I can think of nothing in my 4.5 years of parenting that has been more stressful than what we went through twice in the past week or so.  My body is exhausted from the stress.  With each moment I am here in my home this week I am thankful to be home-- not traveling-- and specifically not trapped at an airport.  Vacations will surely come in the future, but I believe it will be many years before I feel confident entering an airport to board a plane.  Stories will follow as I process all we experienced.  Today, I am just thankful to be right where I am.

m.i.a.

Well, it has been brought to my attention that I have been MIA.  Literally, missing in action.  Missing because of the action around here might be a better description!  The never-ending, exhausting action!  I've checked in at just the right moment though.  We have plane tickets, leaving Sunday on a darn long plane ride to California.  Four tickets, 2 adults, 3 wild little boys.  I'm feeling outnumbered!  I feel like along with all the things I am bringing in hopes of entertaining my children, I also ought to bring goodie-bags for our fellow passengers who probably don't even like kids.  This trip promises to be full of stories to share.  And I'll do my best to record and report as many as I can.

Side note, today was Bennett's last day of his first year of preschool.  Wow.  That went fast.  What a wonderful year.  Honestly, making preschool a part of his life was one of the best parenting decisions we've made thus far.  What a year of growth and development.  Oh yeah, and he completed a project recently about his family on which he stated that both his mom and dad are 20 years old.  Nice.  I think I'll keep him. 

And before I sign off, while I look around my living room and catch sight of my 9 month old, the question I'm left with is... is chewing on blue chalk really going to hurt him?  Because he's so content right now. 

play

Today, I played with my kids.  I really played.  Laundry piled up.  The house was screaming to be cleaned . Groceries sat, waiting to be put away.  But we played.  I don't always do the best job at using every moment we have, but today I did.  We played, and I treasure every darn moment we had together. 

Hurston hanging out while the big boys play.

Painting lion figurines.

Clean-up in the tub.  First time all 3 boys were in together!

Bennett's new way of brushing his teeth.  Attach suction toothbrush to window... and brush.

Bedtime in their NEW bunk beds!!

a new vision

My heart has been "pitter-pattering" the past couple weeks over a new dream for our family.  Sometimes when life gets too mundane and focused on the daily grind, it helps to step back and take a look at a bigger picture.  Taking a moment to dream for our family excites me.  It helps establish goals and helps remind me of the things we value and desire.  This time, the dreaming is related to where we'd like to live and raise our family.  We very much live in the city right now on a lot that is mere steps away from the neighbors.  Our 6 1/2 years here have provided me with countless stories I could share about our "neighbor situations" as Allen and I call them.  We both desire to stretch our legs, breathe some fresh air, enjoy some privacy.  We want to send our kids outside to play and to actually have a place they can run and explore.  I want to sit on a porch in the morning and peacefully enjoy the sunrise.  I want to sit under the stars with my husband, holding hands and hear nothing but the crickets.  Our hearts crave the country.  We crave it for ourselves and we crave it for our boys.  It's something we've wanted forever, but we've just put it into thought and word now.  We've said it out loud-- "we want to move to the country."  And we mean it.

I want a big old farmhouse with creaky floors needing some TLC and full of projects for my husband.  I want big open rooms that are oozing with character from years and years of inhabitants.  I want a front porch, with a swing preferably.  I want no neighbors.  At least not ones I can see from my windows.  I want land.  Oh, how I want a place for my kids to be true boys, in every sense.  To get dirty discovering all God's earth has for them.

So, I'm warning you now, don't be surprised if we jump ship from this city life and find our true hearts' desire many miles from the lights of our city.  This is our prayer.

a fresh perspective

Last week I had a conference with Bennett's preschool teacher.  All the parents had conferences, not just me.  It was that time of the school year-- the time for a "progress report" for us parents who send our 4-year-olds every other day away from our homes into the care of someone else.  For some moms like me, this preschool experience is the first time their kiddos have spent time away.  Being a stay-at-home mom means, up to this point, there has been no need and no reason to be apart.  We've had a wonderful experience with preschool, and I would tell any mom out there that it is one of the best things we've ever done for Bennett.  I love watching him learn, grow and develop his personality and friendships.  On our end, we've loved it.  But we've never know what his teacher, Mrs. Davis, was thinking.  Or how Bennett was acting away from home.  I've wondered so many times how he handles himself when I'm not there.  I figured I'd have received a "report" by now if anything went terribly wrong.  No report. 

And so we've wondered, how's it going at school?  There's only so many answers you can get out of a 4-year-old.  Typically we know who the line leader was and what he ate for snack.  That's about it.  So, I was eagerly anticipating this conference day.  I couldn't wait to hear what Mrs. Davis had to say.  And she did not disappoint.  I sat and listened to all she had to say, starting with her comments about Bennett's smile (the kid does have a phenomenal smile), to her impressions of where he is academically (which involved his cutting and tracing skills), to what he enjoys playing with most (dinosaurs... shock... and dress-up clothes) and finally to his social interactions and personality (over which we laughed hysterically).  Seeing my son through someone else's eyes opened my mind to a whole new way of looking at him, and that was priceless for this stay-at-home mom who sometimes gets bogged down with the day-to-day.  I walked away with renewed love for my sweet boy.  I smiled all day over him, let him stay up late just because I wanted some one-on-one with him.  I thought many times that day and each day since-- this is a really cool kid.  And I am so very proud of him.

Refreshment and Reconnection

Last weekend I had such a special opportunity.  A wonderful friend came into town for a visit.  A friend who has meant so much to me and who I hadn't seen in 4 years.  We were both struck by just how much life can change in a short 4 years as we looked at our combined total 6 kids (almost 7-- Kim is pregnant with her 4th).  Callie and Bennett were just babies when Kim and Kevin moved away.  Now there are (in order here) Bennett, Callie, Solomon, Jack and Charlie (twins), Hurston and baby Mitchell #4 on the way.  That's quite a crew!  And quite a troop in our modest home for that matter.  Toys were spilled out, rooms torn apart, but I have not felt my home so filled with love in a long time.  The kids had a blast, and the moms and dads enjoyed some great conversation and connection.

Kim became a part of my life back in my Ryan Homes days.  For both of us it was a job that we lacked passion or excitement for, but it filled a need in our lives for a time.  I remember the day Kim started I found out she was a Christian, and we had an instant connection from that moment forward.  We were daily stuck in an environment full of people who openly believed differently from us and in a job where we were often made to feel inadequate and insecure.  But, we had each other.  That connection and our shared faith bonded us together in a way that has lasted many years.  In fact, our time living in the same city is much shorter than the time we have lived away from each other. 

God does some really amazing things in the lives of His children.  He brings them together to help uplift and support each other.  And when we pursue and invest in each other, the connection can last a lifetime.

I have the utmost respect and admiration for Kim and Kevin and their precious family,and I am thankful for the part He allows us to play in each others' lives-- especially across the years and over the miles. 

Women & Stress

"Stress should be an event, not a way of life."  So says Dr. Lichi, a respected psychologist at the Chapel.  He taught a class on "Women & Stress" one evening at church.  The room was packed of course, because aren't "women" and "stress" interchangeable words?  I have to admit, I was a bit skeptical about what a man could possibly teach a group of women about processing and dealing with this very familiar part of our lives.  But, then, maybe it takes a man-- someone who can step back and speak from a different perspective-- to offer new insight  And he did.  He encouraged us to establish goals-- goals that would help us process the events of our lives and helps us release the tension that inevitably forms.  He helped me remember to be involved in things that I love to do-- this blog is a direct result of his class.  And he helped me to remember that serving my husband, children and ultimately my Lord will keep my mindset clear.  "Stress should be an event, not a way of life."  I challenge you-- woman or man-- to think on that one a bit today.